Back in the saddle – The Occasional Violinist 1

I rejoined my symphony orchestra recently. Other than a one off with my baroque group, this was my first rehearsal post-Covid. Writing this just back from second rehearsal with a strong feeling of deja vu. I remember sitting in college orchestra at 18 years old, absolute deer in the headlights and just hanging on for dear life. It felt like everyone else had a hidden wellspring of skill at sight reading and counting and general musicianship. It took years to build my skills and the confidence that I belonged.

And I’m right back there again as a mid-30s mother of two.

I clawed my way up back then at university and now it feels like I’m starting at square one – maybe square 1.5 – again. I feel regret and also resentment at the very valid reasons why I haven’t maintained my music skills. And if I’m honest they really started declining once I left that wonderful, intense pressure cooker that is music school (decline then hit warp speed after son 1). Rehearsing, practicing, learning all the time. It was turbulent but honestly some of the best years of my life. 

So I’m jumping back in. My practice routine is: carve out 30 minutes during nap time (once a week) and I’ll open the case and have a bash through. I used to practice mutiple hours 6 days a week. But I’ve got to start somewhere.

P.S. Also jumping back into blogging, so welcome back and thanks for reading!